After. Robert Steven’s simulation of a tree that was submitted by Sumardi. The before photo is below.
Robert’s deft touch
If you look at the before and after shots, it’s easy to see that it’s the same tree. The trunk has been leaned slightly to the left, some branches have been lengthened and some shortened, it has a different pot and the placement in the pot has been moved. Nothing very radical, yet the effect is striking; the tree has transformed from simple potential to realization of that potential.
Before. The image that Sumardi submitted to Robert.
Robert’s comments
The focal point
The focal point of this tree is the curve of the trunk. This focal point has good value of interest, but is not well enough explored to create an outstanding bonsai. To the contrary, it imparts a negative effect on the upper part of the trunk, which becomes too vertical and straight. As a consequence the tree has less visual balance, less beauty and less evocation than it could have.
The pot
Judging by the character of the line and the shape of the crown, this tree looks rather feminine, soft and casual, but the shape of the pot with the strong sharp corners is too strong, too masculine for the tree. Consequently, the overall image is less charming than it could be.
Solutions
My solution is to correct the straight vertical line of the trunk by leaning the tree slightly to the left. This creates a nice continuous flow with clear direction. In order to emphasize movement, the right branches are shortened and the left branches are lengthened.
The size of the crown is slightly reduced and opened up, creating more space and reducing the heavy feeling.
Finally, a new pot with rounded corners is used to fit the soft character of the tree. Now, with this new design, I believe that the overall effect is more charming and that a more cheerful mood is the result.
General comments
There is more than one way to design any bonsai and my critiques and recommended solutions might not always fit your taste and personal preferences, but I always try to give my opinion based on artistic and horticultural principles.
To understand my concepts better, please read my books Vision of My Soul and Mission of Transformation which are available at Stone Lantern.
My bonsai blog address : http://robert-steven.ofbonsai.org
Robert’s changes are exactly right, a great improvement. However, as a Chinese elm, this is a very good pine.
Thanks Colin. I think I understand what you mean. You are right, that’s one of the very common mistakes everywhere on deciduous bonsai. I have repeated the same thing in many occasion on many forums that, many people tend to design their decisuous bonsai like connifers. Either the “monopodial” shape or the apical dominant structure.
It takes time to make people realize this basic mistake and change their mind-set in order to really express deciduous bonsai character.
To this tree, I didn’t mention this issue to avoid too much drastical change; but just to point out the basic aesthetic aspect. I talk quite in details about this issue in my second book “Mission of Transformation”.
“…to avoid too much drastical change…” Of course – every journey is a sequence of individual steps.
Most bonsai design training, critique, instruction etc., applies to conifers in general and can only marginally be applied to deciduous species, where detail of branch structure is of greater importance. I believe everyone should learn deciduous design first, since it requires less of a change in mindset to go from there to conifers.
Colin, “. . .learn deciduous design first, . . ..” An interesting concept and one that we would do well to follow. Yet when our club teaches a beginners class for “xyz organization” we almost always have the two choices of juniper and ficus for homeowners and apartment dwellers. This is probably as a result of trying to keep the price down. I will pursue this with the next round of classes we teach to beginners. The ficus tend to be fingerling sticks as well.
Zack, I wonder whether a mini-workshop with cheap no-hope plants is the best way to introduce beginners to bonsai. I have always found that inspiring them with images and of what they could achieve in a few short years, and stimulating them with tales of collecting adventures exciting techniques is a far more effective way of getting them hooked. But I guess club beginner sessions are often conducted by people who are little more than beginners themselves.
And thanks to Colin too, as always.