After. Robert Steven's simulation of an Olive that was submitted by Gary Howes. There's a lot to like about this simulation, including just how natural and untamed it looks (even the pot has an untamed quality). This wild, untamed quality tells a story of a something that has managed to stay alive and even thrive under some of the harshest conditions that Nature can dish out.
This is our third consecutive post featuring Robert Steven. If you haven’t seen his bonsai or his critiques of other people’s bonsai, take a look. His critiques are full of useful insights and his own bonsai stand at the pinnacle of the art.
Also, I’d like to encourage you to submit photos of your own trees. If the photos are shot with a neutral background and at the right angle, there’s a very good chance you’ll see your bonsai here with Robert’s simulation and comments.
The critique shown here originally appeared in December, 2012.
Before. This is the photo that Gary submitted to Robert.
Robert’s critique
Needless to say, this bonsai has outstanding features, especially the deadwood. Our task is to explore and express these features in a way that conveys a life story of a tree in nature; where it grows, how the deadwood is formed and how it is transformed from its original shape.
To do this, the design elements, the deadwood, the living trunk and branches, the foliage and the container, should all be composed in a way that creates a sense of consistency and unity.
I am sure the artist has the idea, but I am not so sure that he has a concrete blueprint of the design; for example the shape of the crown. Look at the shoots that are on the tips of the branches. If these are used to form the foliage pads, they will be too high (too far separated from the rest of the tree). If this is the case, then the overall composition will be leggy and less compact than is desirable.
Furthermore, although the deadwood is very nice, it should not take over the main object, which is the living tree. Instead, the deadwood is there to emphasize and enhance the tree’s character and its life story.
In this case, the deadwood is too busy. It needs to be reduced and simplified. Last but not least is the pot. Neither its size, shape nor color fit the design of the tree. The size is too big, the shape and the color are too feminine for the massive character of the tree.
My simulation with my solution is at the top of the post…
The existing deadwood is reduced, some branches are shortened and the end of the main branch is turned into deadwood. The ramification (branching) is restructured to be more compact but spare with more empty spaces. Then a smaller dark color container is used to enhance the overall effect. I believe the final result conveys a more natural transformation.
Robert’s general comments
There is more than one way to design any bonsai and my critiques and recommended solutions might not always fit your taste and personal preferences, but I always try to give my opinion based on artistic and horticultural principles.
To understand my concepts better, please read my books Vision of My Soul (out of print) and Mission of Transformation which are available at Stone Lantern.
You can see more of what Robert is up to on his bonsai blog and on Facebook
Point well taken. Robert sent this photo along with his critique.
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