Robert Steven’s digitally enhanced version of a Blue Atlas Cedar. The original photo (below) was submitted by Mike Andrews.
The original.
Robert’s critique
Basically, this is a very nice Cedar with nice movement and sufficient well-arranged branching and the shari helps create a feeling of age. But, there are few issue here :
- This bonsai is styled in a very common “S” shape with a basic 1,2,3 branch arrangement. Although there is nothing wrong with it, it lacks excitement. In other words, it could be styled in more interesting and natural fashion.
- The shari is not properly done.
As described in my book Mission of Transformation, some basic reasons for adding shari are:
– To create the impression of age in a way that mimics natural forces.
– To improve the line and sense of movement in the trunk or branches.
– To correct a monotonous linear dead vein along the trunk.
This last purpose is often unrealized by bonsai artist. When a branch of a conifer is cut, the living vein directly below the branch dies down the trunk to the root base. This effect is disadvantageous if the basic trunk line is monotonous without any winding or twisting. And this is what has been done on this bonsai, the shari’s straight line is boring and doesn’t reflect the physiology of the tree.
Solution
Nothing can be done to correct the shari. It should have been carved to create a winding or twisting direction to fit the trunk’s movement and the starting point should be from the dead branch as in the simulated photo.
However, the design composition can still be corrected by rearranging the foliage pads. Also you can lean the trunk slightly and change the potting position.
This new design better reflects nature and overall looks a little more interesting.
There is more than one way to design any bonsai and my critiques and recommended solutions might not always fit your taste because of personal preferences. But I always try to give my opinion based on artistic and horticultural principles.
To understand my concepts better, please read my books Vision of My Soul and Mission of Transformation which are available at Stone Lantern.
You can also visit my bonsai blog.
I wonder if the shari problem could be addressed by rotating the front counter clockwise, combined with changing the planting angle?
Marc
Just a photo tip.
The photo submitted would have been much easier for Robert to work with if the photographer had simply hung a solid white or light color sheet over the fence behind the bonsai.
Thanks Alan. Agreed. Eliminating background noise is a good idea.
Thanks Marc. Questions: how far counter clockwise and how would you change the planting angle?
Robert thanks for your insight. I purchased the tree several years ago from a artist who is selling his collection and it already had the shari in place. I have increased the pad density and the color contrasts nicely with my other conifers. Would widening the shari in the lower third help?
Mike, you can still improve the shari. Widening the lower part is one of the ways; the most important thing when carving such shari is to avoid simmetrical curve and repeating the same curves…
Wayne,
In Robert’s virtual, the shari not only varies in thickness but also disappears from view and re-appears again.This is much more interesting and pleasing but not possible with this tree now.
My thought was by rotating the front counter clockwise visually it could change the appearance of the shari causing some areas to be almost hidden and some fully exposed.Based on the new view, the shari could be widened in a few select areas. My thought on tilting the tree to the left was to pick up some flow and lose the uncomfortable too centered shari.
Thanks Marc, I will rotate the tree and see how it looks. Shoot me an email so I have your address and I will forward some pics at differing angles if you would like to see them. andrewsdrmike@aol.com
There is always other option to improve. I’d love to see the different angles as well, Mike. Please send me too so we can discuss it i this forum….
More images are on their way. The tree is 32 inches from soil and trunk is 5 inches at the base.
Robert, the new design with rotating the tree bringing the right side front 30 or so degrees and widening the shari base looks great. Also the top of the shari can now have meaning with an origin at a branch. Thanks again for your insight. As you know seeing a tree every day it is hard to see the design in a subjective light. This forum is excellent!
Hi
I notice how all have missed the pot, maby a different shape might change it altogther?
JC